MY LITTLE MR. GOD IS IMPERFECT / Yuka Tsurubuchi

It was a swell in the curtain that started all this. I was afraid of it at first, thinking that someone was hiding between the curtain and the window. I was twelve then, and it was the age when every phenomenon frightens you to death. I did not have the confidence to flip the curtain over in the middle of the night in my room, alone. I decided to tell myself that it was a little young god that doesn’t have enough skill to disappear completely. I decided to think that everybody has a little god with them who controls our fortune, and that mine is a little too young. This unexpected encounter changed my life.

Every night I thank the curtain for all the good things that happened to me on that day, including the smallest things, like “I didn’t get caught at the red signal this morning!” or “I won rock paper scissors and got the left over donut!”

My little god can’t handle more than two wishes at a time. I say to him, “Tomorrow, it’s ok if I get caught at the red signal, it’s ok if it rains and I can’t play tennis outside for P.E. My only wish for tomorrow is to put me in a good group for the field trip.” I would always speak to him like that. I have to make sure to throw away my extra greediness so that he won’t be out of his depth. Thinking like this make me acknowledge my real desire.

My little god forgets a lot of things, so I have to remind him of my wish every once in a while. If I forgot to remind him, it means that the wish wasn’t that big a deal for me. If I have something that I definitely want him to realize, I wish again and again, strongly and politely. I can say in confidence that if I wish in a correct way, it will come true for sure, no exceptions so far. He’s a god after all.

My little god stops listening to me when he’s in a bad mood, and at those times, it seems like he failed to grant my wish. I ask myself, “Have I done something wrong? Was the wish too big, too impractical?” Then I would remember getting irritated when my mom told me to put my pajamas away. He gets upset whenever I behave rudely towards someone. Even if I didn’t show the irritation in my behavior, my little god can see through my feelings. What I get is what I deserve.

When we hear the word “god”, we often imagine him to be perfect in every way, but unlike them, my god is imperfect. He often forgets my wishes, he can’t do more than two things at a time, and he’ll not listen to me when he’s in a bad mood. Mr. God, I call him, has helped me live a beautiful life. Don’t be greedy, be thankful to the present environment, never blame on others, and endure hardships. I know he’s always on my side, and that he’ll never desert me in the middle of any pain. Tonight, before going to bed, I’ll smile at him and thank him for letting me successfully finish this essay.

Yuka Tsurubuchi is a 2nd year student in the Department of English Studies. She is interested in learning new languages, and is currently studying French and Thai. Her dream is to be multi-lingual.

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